


"When You Can't Sleep At Night"

by fOreverer



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insomnia, Mental Health Issues, Suicidal Ideation, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-05-01 05:32:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5194070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fOreverer/pseuds/fOreverer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pete calls Patrick when things get bad late at night</p>
            </blockquote>





	"When You Can't Sleep At Night"

Pete didn’t want to call Patrick.

He always did and he knew Patrick couldn’t like it-being awoken in the middle of the night just “to talk”.

That’s how Patrick tended to refer to it the next day, be it to Pete himself or to Andy or Joe- because Pete usually managed, in spite of everything, to hold it together over the phone, and just wait for Patrick to calm him down.

“I just have so much to talk about!” he’d say “But I really _really_ need someone else to talk about it with!”

Then he’d let Patrick work his magic. People always assumed that he was the big talker in the band, because he was loud and could get everyone’s attention butit was Patrick who was the _really_ talkative one though, once you got him started. It would never take too much before Patrick would take the reins and start putting forward his views, on new music, or politics or _whatever it was_ that Pete had managed to think of, when all he wanted to do was scream down the phone that he wanted to die.

He wasn’t going to do that. Not yet anyway.

_I’ll go for a walk,_ Pete resolved, _try to clear my head._

It didn’t usually work, but there were only so many nights in the week that he could prevent his lead singer from getting a decent night’s sleep.

* * *

 

It was 3:58am when Patrick picked up his cell phone, though he presumed that it had been ringing for quite some time before that. He didn’t need to look at the display screen before flipping open his phone- only one person ever called him this late at night.

_“What’s it this time Pete?”_ Patrick began, stifling a yawn _“You wanna discuss the budget announcements or something?”_

The other end of the line remained silent, which struck Patrick as odd- usually Pete was excited enough that his voice would ring out through the phone and echo around Patrick’s bedroom.

_“Pete”_ Patrick supplied before taking the phone from his ear and actually checking to see that it had in fact been Pete that called him. Seeing that it was he returned the phone to his ear, _“Pete, what, are you there man?”_

_“Yeah, sorry”_ Pete’s voice was scratchy and muted, “ _I couldn’t think for a second there”_

_“Well that’s unlike you”_ Patrick laughed, in spite of the silence around him _“In all this time I’ve known you, I can’t think of a time when you were stuck for words”_

He heard a small huff on the other end of the line, then a scuffing sound like the shuffling of feet.

_“Not true, remember back when you were writing our lyrics and I didn’t know how to tell you they were shitty?”_

_“Duly noted”_ Patrick said dryly _“Two times in all of human history that Pete Wentz hasn't know what to say.”_

Silence stretched on inexplicably. Patrick was often at a loss when it came to Pete Wentz, and this was certainly one of those times.

_“Did you mean to call, man?”_ Patrick could literally hear the sleepiness in his own voice- it contrasted with the sheer tiredness that he had detected in Pete’s tone.

_“Yeah, no…I don’t know to be honest”_ Pete paused _“I guess I didn’t know what else to do”  
“Where are you right now?” _ Patrick asked suddenly _“You’re not at home, you went for a walk?”_

_“A drive actually”_ Pete’s tone was uneasy. The strangeness of the situation was quickly making Patrick more alert _“I thought the noise of the other cars on the road might help quiet everything down, but then there weren’t too many other cars on the road actually, I didn’t realise what time it was ‘till I called you, it’s pretty late”_

_“Pretty early more like”_ Patrick mused-Pete still wasn’t giving him much to go on _“What’s bothering you, why can’t you sleep? What are you trying to quiet down?”_

Patrick could hear Pete breathing and knew instinctively that wherever he was, Pete hadn’t worn a jacket, and that he was now freezing in the late-night chill. A pause in the regularity of the noise suggested Pete was holding his breath.

_“Well, like, say for example, right now I’m standing on the side of the road-you know that road over the river on the way out of town, and all I can think about is how much I want to jump”_

Patrick shot up in bed, his heart hammering in his chest. _“What did you just say?”_

_“Didn’t hear me the first time?”_ Pete chuckled _“You missed a good one Trick, I’d hate to have missed what I just said, I swear”_

_“Just stop, please”_ Patrick had manoeuvred himself to sitting on the edge of his bed now, and was wondering just how quickly he could drive to the outskirts of town. _“Pete, please are you kidding right now or…?”_

_“No, I am in fact deadly serious.”_

_“I-“  
“But I called you Patrick” _ Pete interjected suddenly _“Because I wanted to know if it’s normal, to feel this way. If most people think about crashing their cars when they’re driving, or of letting themselves drown, or of letting themselves bleed out or-“_

_“No, no they don’t”_ Patrick said, unsure even of what he was claiming was true _“Pete you need help right now, where are you?”_

_“Right Now”_ Pete laughed, the sound was so alien and out of place that Patrick faltered in rummaging in his drawer for his keys _“Cause this is the first night I’ve ever called you when I’ve wanted to kill myself”_

It took Patrick a second and then suddenly all the air was evaporating from his lungs. His chest constricted as the meaning of Pete’s words rang home.

_“All those other times”_ he whispered, afraid almost that saying it aloud would make it real _“When you called me in the middle of the night that was you trying to-“_

_“Trying to hold it together”_ Pete finished and Patrick hated how small his voice sounded, how broken Pete seemed.

_“Can you hold it together till I get there?”_

_“It’s why I called you”_

_“Okay, give me 15 minutes I swear I’ll be there”_

_“Okay”_ and Pete knew he’d be okay, at least for another little while and hopefully until things settled down again.

 

 

 


End file.
